What does it mean, exact change?
by highlyillogical
Summary: The referenced story is my attempt to further develop a scene between Kirk and Spock in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Please keep in mind that it is also my attempt at a story with a humourous climax, ie being funny. All comments are welcome.


"What does it mean, exact change?" Spock furrowed his brow and asked logically.

Kirk flung his hands in the air out of confusion as he watched the big street car pass them by. The driver's dismissal of them lasted no longer than a moment and left them back in the twentieth century streets of San Francisco. Kirk hoped the rest of the crew was doing better.

Spock stood calmly with his hands clasped in front of him, trying to analyze the event that just transpired. The driver's response was illogical, he thought. Raising an eyebrow, he concluded to himself that he had no answer. Spock then turned to look at his superior ranking officer for further instructions when he noticed that Kirk was giving him a look. Just for an instant Spock found it hard to read his expression, but then he experienced a flash of memory- a very familiar memory. With the help of that memory, Spock determined that his admiral was in search of an explanation. Spock realied that Kirk must have given that look to him on many occasions in the past whenever they were in circumstances that needed answers. However, in this instance, he had none to give.

Spock thought for a second. "Quite unforeseen, admiral" he finally offered.

"Yes," Kirk said as he sighed. He couldn't expect Spock to be familiar with an out-of-date Earth expression, especially in his current condition. He also couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at himself for being just as clueless.

Kirk and Spock started making their way through the streets. "How many times do I have to tell you, Spock? Call me Jim." He gave Spock an encouraging look.

"How would that progress the situation, admiral?"

Kirk starred at Spock for a few moments. Finally, he said "Well, it would…….help us not be so suspicious."

"Very well, Jim. I shall endeavor to do so."

Kirk smiled. "That's all I can ask"

They walked on a little further.

Spock began the conversation. "Our acquisition of money has not permitted us entry to the transportation we need" "We must seek an alternative form of payment possibly known as "exact change."

Kirk looked around, nodding in agreement. "It would seem so, Mr. Spock." He was trying to think of what to do next.

"Perhaps if we may consult the linguistic banks of this time, we-"

Kirk shook his head. "I don't think you will find anything like that nearby." Kirk looked around and took hold of Spock. "Come on, Spock. Let's enter in one of these establishments." Spock followed Kirk.

They walked into a building filled with many packaged items on top of shelves. Kirk looked around and found a man behind a counter, much like the man who gave him the paper money for the spectacles. Kirk looked at Spock and tilted his head towards the man. "Maybe he can help us" Kirk said. Spock stayed in back of Kirk and remained quiet.

They walked over to the counter. A woman who was first in a line of people presented the man with a container filled with items she had picked out, and the man proceeded to take them out. When Kirk and Spock walked over to them, the man and the woman stopped what they were doing and looked up at them. The man said "Can I help you guys?" in a rather impatient tone.

"Yes," Kirk smiled and motioned for Spock to give him the money. Spock consequently took out everything he had in his pocket and gave the handful to Kirk. Kirk rolled his eyes and took one slip of the paper money and gave the rest back to Spock, who took it and held it in his hand, not knowing what to do with it. Kirk presented the man with the money and said "My friend and I would like to take the public transportation, but…" Kirk continued the rest in the tone of a question "I need……exact change."

"No change unless you buy something," said the man and went back to his work.

Kirk turned and looked at Spock, who was now browsing at the goods on the shelves. Kirk walked over to him and told him what the man had said.

Spock nodded and said "I believe the payment for the public transportation is less than that which we possess. Therefore, we require smaller units of currency, otherwise referred to as change." Spock continued. "To obtain the "exact change" we seek, we must purchase an item that is of a lesser value to our paper money, but small enough that will leave us with the amount we need for transportation."

"Logical deduction, Mr. Spock." By this time, Kirk had figured that out as well.

Spock nodded. "Thank you, admiral." Kirk stood next to Spock, who gestured at the items on the shelves. "I also believe that these numbers labeled here represent the value of each item. For example, this one here is valued at two point ninety nine units of the money we carry." Spock picks up a rectangular box with drawings on it and examines it.

Kirk watches as Spock picks up another box. "Would you prefer Froot Loops or Captain Crunch, Jim?" Spock asked him in a serious tone, awaiting his decision.

If his homeworld wasn't in literal danger of coming to an end, Kirk would have laughed out loud at the sound of Spock using the word "captain" in such an unexpected context. At least Spock had used his name.

Kirk took the boxes from Spock and put them back. He knew they were food because they had pictures of people eating, but wasn't sure about anything further. They didn't look very tasty.

Spock said, "We do not have an alternative way of obtaining change at this time. I recommend we purchase an item as time is a factor."

"You're right Spock. I didn't want to waste the money, but it looks like we need to buy something." Kirk looked at the choices of food available in the twentieth century and didn't really want any of it.

Just then a little boy and a woman engaged in what looked like an argument over one of the boxes from the shelves. "I want Captain Crunch, mommy!" exclaimed the boy.

After they both watched the little display, Spock looked at Kirk and raised an eyebrow.

"You heard the boy, Mr. Spock."

Kirk and Spock purchased some Captain Crunch and successfully obtained some "exact change."


End file.
